Great “TeamReadiness Moments” in Hollywood Movies and TV Shows

Published on December 17, 2010 in Quotes | No Comments

Movie & TV scenes that articulate a “TeamReadiness Moment”The good, the bad, the ugly, and the just plain “normal” aspects of working with others to get the job done…


Movie: The Untouchables

Malone: You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I’m saying is, what are you prepared to do?
Ness: Anything within the law.
Malone: And then what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they’re not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.
Ness: I want to get Capone! I don’t know how to do it.
Malone: You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way! And that’s how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?

Movie: The Untouchables

Capone: Life goes on. A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms… Enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy?. – Dames? – Boozin‘?… BASEBALL..!!! A man… A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. lf his team don’t field…what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say?. l’m goin’ out there for myself. But…l get nowhere unless the team wins.

Movie: The Untouchables

Malone: You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement: Make sure when your shift is over, you go home alive.

Movie: Rudy

Steele: I want Rudy to dress in my place Coach. He deserves it.
Coach: [laughs] Don’t be ridiculous, Georgia Tech is one of the top offense teams in the country. You are an All-American and our Captain, act like it!
Steele: I believe I am. [lays his jersy down on Devine’s desk and walks out]

Movie: The Cowboys

Andersen: Now… this is the “Double O”, …this is Belle Fourche. In between is four hundred miles of the meanest country in the West. And the only way we’re gonna get through is if you take orders. Is that clear?
School boys: Yes, sir.
Andersen: Bring a bed roll, couple of good ropes, horse if ya got one. You’ll get the best food in the territory, no rest, damn little sleep. And fifty big silver dollars, IF we make it to Belle Fourche. Now, you’ll show up at my place first Monday after schools out at 5:00 a.m. And come with grit teeth, ‘cuz gentlemen, that’s when school really begins.

Movie: The Cowboys

Andersen: Mr Nightlinger, what’s for breakfast?
Nightlinger: Stewed apples, bacon, and biscuits.
Andersen: Well, forget the apples, slap some bacon on a biscuit and lets go. We’re burning daylight!

Movie: The Cowboys

Andersen: Weedy, think you can do something kind of ticklish?
Weedy: Sure.
Andersen: I want you to fade back and find Mr. Nightlinger.
Weedy: What do I tell him?
Andersen: Tell him to load his gun and high tail it up here.
Weedy: Yes sir.

Movie: The Cowboys

Nightlinger: What are you doing?!
Slim: We didn’t want to do it this way Mr. Nightlinger but we knew you wouldn’t give them to us [referring to the guns]. So we’re going to get the herd back for Mr. Andersen and take it on to Belle Fourche.
Nightlinger: You’re going to get yourselves killed.
Slim: We’re going to finish a job.

Movie: Peyton Place

Allison: [Upon learning that her school teacher, Mrs. Thornton, did not get the promotion to Principal she had been expecting] I don’t know how they [school board] could do such a thing. You should be principal. You deserve it.
Mrs.Thornton: Allison, a person doesn’t always get what she deserves. Remember it. If there’s anything in life you want, go and get it. Don’t wait for anybody to give it to you.

Movie: Saving Private Ryan

Private J: Sir… I have an opinion on this matter.
Captain M: Well, by all means, share it with the squad.
Private J: Well, from my way of thinking, sir, this entire mission is a serious misallocation of valuable military resources.
Captain M: Yeah. Go on.
Private J: Well, it seems to me, sir, that God gave me a special gift, made me a fine instrument of warfare.
Captain M: Reiben, pay attention. Now, this is the way to gripe. Continue, Jackson
Private J: Well, what I mean by that, sir, is… if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile of Adolf Hitler with a clear line of sight, sir… pack your bags, fellas, war’s over. Amen.
Private R: Oh, that’s brilliant, bumpkin. Hey, so, Captain, what about you? I mean, you don’t gripe at all?
Captain M: I don’t gripe to *you*, Reiben. I’m a captain. There’s a chain of command. Gripes go up, not down. Always up. You gripe to me, I gripe to my superior officer, so on, so on, and so on. I don’t gripe to you. I don’t gripe in front of you. You should know that as a Ranger.
Private R: I’m sorry, sir, but uh… let’s say you weren’t a captain, or maybe I was a major. What would you say then?
Captain M: Well, in that case… I’d say, “This is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir, worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover… I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down my life and the lives of my men – especially you, Reiben – to ease her suffering.”
Mellish: [chuckles] He’s good.
Private C: I love him.

Movie: Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Scotty: Admiral, I’ve been hoping to see you. Maybe you can get through to those thick heads in Starfleet that…
Kirk: Why aren’t the Enterprise transporters in operation, Mister Scott?
Scotty: We’re hoping it’s only a temporary problem, Admiral…
Kirk: See that it is.
Scotty: Admiral, the Enterprise has just finished eighteen months redesigning and refitting. She needs testing, a shakedown…
Kirk: Mister Scott, there’s an alien object with unbelievable destructive power less than three days away from this planet…The only Starship in interception range is the Enterprise. Ready, or not, she launches in twelve hours!

Movie: Star Trek: The Motion Picture

[Kirk has just gotten command back of the Enterprise]

Sulu: He wanted her back. He got her.
Ensign: And Captain Decker? He’s been with this ship every minute of her refitting.
Uhura: Ensign, the possibilities of our returning from this mission in one piece may have just doubled.

TV Show: “Star Trek” The Naked Time

Kirk: The purpose of a briefing, gentlemen, is to get me answers based on your abilities and experience. In a critical orbit there’s no time for surprise.
Scotty: Unless you people on the bridge start taking showers with your clothes on [i.e., unless we are overcome by some unknown force], my engines can pull us out of anything. We’ll be warping out of orbit within a half second a’ getting your command.

Movie: The Paper

Henry: It’s a Marx Brothers movie every time I step in my office.

TV Show: Breaking Bad, Episode 401: “Box Cutter”

Victor: All his b_s_ aside, its called, “a cook.” Everything comes down to following a recipe. Simple, complicated, it doesn’t matter. Steps never change. And I know ever step.

TV Show: Dragnet 1967, Episode: “Public Affairs: DR-12”

Franke: One last thing. I usually recite this to remind myself. Back home I work the White House detail. Before all agents sign in, there’s a little deal that hangs in a frame above the sign-in desk. It’s required reading by all of us. Its part of an article that appeared in a Washington newspaper sometime back. Short and to the point. Goes something like this: “Last night, a man approached the Presidential Box and confronted the guard outside. The visitor was well dressed, and his demeanor appeared normal. Said he had a message for the President. For one brief moment, the guard relaxed his vigil and permitted the man to enter the box without proper clearance. Thirty seconds later, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, lay dying of a pistol ball shot in the head.”

Movie: Band of Brothers

Toye: Three day supply of K-rations, chocolate bars, Charms candy, powdered coffee, sugar, matches, compass, bayonet, entrenching tool, ammunition, gas mask, musette bag with ammo, my weapon, my .45, canteen, two cartons of smokes, Hawkins mine, two grenades, smoke grenade, Gammon grenade, TNT, THIS b_sh_t, and a pair of nasty skivvies!
Perconte: What’s your point?
Toye: This stuff weighs as much as I do! I still got my chute, my reserve chute, my Mae West, my M1.
Perconte: Where you keeping the brass knuckles?
Toye: I could use some brass knuckles.

Movie: WestWorld

Supervisor: We aren’t dealing with ordinary machines here. These are highly complicated pieces of equipment. Almost as complicated as living organisms. In some cases, they have been designed by other computers. We don’t know exactly how they work.

Movie: Three Kings

Archie Gates: What’s the most important thing in life?
Troy Barlow: Respect.
Archie Gates: Too dependent on other people.
Conrad Vig: What, love?
Archie Gates: A little Disneyland, isn’t it?
Chief Elgin: God’s will.
Archie Gates: Close.
Troy Barlow: What is it then?
Archie Gates: Necessity.
Troy Barlow: As in?
Archie Gates: As in people do what is most necessary to them at any given moment.

Movie: Team America: World Police

Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.

Movie: U-571

Lieutenant: I didn’t get my boat.
Commander: I know.
Lieutenant: And with all due respect, sir, there’s only one way that could’ve happened and that’s if you withheld your recommendation.
Commander: That’s right. I just don’t think your ready.
Lieutenant: What do you mean I’m not ready? Sir, I have worked my tail off on the S-33. I’m qualified in every area and then some. What executive officer has higher marks then I do, Captain?
Commander: Andy! Your just not ready to take on a command of your own.

Movie: U-571

Lieutenant: He torpedoed me, Chief. Nine months aboard the S-33, doing the best Job I know how. Doing everything once
and then doing it again, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything the first time.
Chief: You’ll get your chance, sir. There’s other commands in the navy.
Lieutenant: – You knew? Didn’t warn me…
Chief: Ain’t my place, sir.

Movie: U-571

Lieutenant: Who’s the boarding party?
Major: Well, since you’re the XO, you sir. Mr. Emmett, Mr. Larson, Mr. Hirsh and nine of your ships company. Captain, of course, will remain onboard the S-33.
Lieutenant: Mister, our boys are submarine sailors, not combat marines.
Major: Boys onboard that U-boat are sailors, too. Your men will be ready, Lieutenant. I’ll train them myself.

Movie: The Caine Mutiny

Queeg: Mr. Maryk, you may tell the crew for me that there are four ways of doing things aboard my ship: The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way, and my way. They do things my way, and we’ll get along.

Movie: Pale Rider

Preacher: The vote you took the other night showed courage. You voted to stick together…that’s just what you should do. Spider made a mistake…he went into town alone. A man alone is easy prey. Only by standing together are you going to be able to beat the LaHoods of the world. No matter what happens tomorrow, don’t you forget that.

Movie: The Edge

Morse: We’re all put to the test… but it never comes in the form or at the point we would prefer, does it?

Movie: The Edge

Morse: What one man can do, another can do!

Movie: Too Big To Fail

Paulson: Lehman is a trading partner for every bank in this room. Their failure will be a massive blow to all of you. This is YOUR problem. We can all argue about how we got here…deregulation, derivatives, “Dick Fuld made bad decisions.” We’re all responsible, its a catastrophic mess. Governments’ done whatever it can do. Its on YOU now. YOU need to fix it and YOU need to pay for it. Let me be clear…we will remember ANYONE who is NOT helpful.

Movie: Too Big To Fail

Min Euoo-sung: It is not about the price, it is about the way you have conducted this. [walks away from the deal]

Movie: A Few Good Men

Col. Jessep: Wait a minute, Tom, don’t get the President just yet. Maybe we should consider this a second. Dismissed, Tom. Maybe, and I’m just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to train Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see to it that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I’m certain I remember reading that somewhere once. And now I’m thinking,Col. Markinson, that your suggestion of transferring Santiago, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We’re gonna train the lad. Jon, You’re in charge. If Santiago doesn’t make 4-6, 4-6 on his next proficiency and conduct report, I’m gonna blame you. Then I’m gonna kill you.

Movie: A Few Good Men

Col. Jessep: Have you ever spent time in an infantry unit, son?
Kaffee: No sir.
Col. Jessep: Ever served in a forward area?
Kaffee: No sir.
Col. Jessep: Ever put your life in another man’s hands, ask him to put his life in yours?
Kaffee: No sir.
Col. Jessep: We follow orders, son. We follow orders or people die. It’s that simple. Are we clear?
Kaffee: Yes sir.
Col. Jessep: ARE WE CLEAR?
Kaffee: Crystal.

Movie: A Few Good Men

Kaffee: Commander, do you have some sort of jurisdiction here that I should know about?
Galloway: My job is to make sure that you do your job. I’m Special Counsel for Internal Affairs, so my jurisdiction’s pretty much in your face.

Movie: A Few Good Men

Kaffee: Colonel Jessep, did you order the Code Red?
Judge: You don’t have to answer that question!
Col. Jessep: I’ll answer the question! [turns to Kaffee] You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I’m entitled.
Col. Jessep: You can’t handle the truth!
Col. Jessep: Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I…
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: You’re G_damn right I did!

Movie: Crimson Tide

Captain: We have orders in hand. Those orders are to make a pre-emptive launch. Every second that we lose increases the chances that by the time our missiles arrive, their silos could be empty because they’ve flown their birds and struck us first.
Hunter: Yes sir.
Captain: You know as well as I do that any launch order received without authentication, is no order at all.
Hunter: Yes sir.
Captain: That’s our number one rule.
Hunter: [tries to get a word in] National mil…
Captain: And that rule is the basis for the scenario we’ve trained on, time and time again. It’s a rule we follow without exception.
Hunter: Captain, National Military Command Center knows what sector we’re in. They have satellites looking down on us to see if our birds are aloft and if they’re *not*, then they give our orders to somebody else. That’s why we maintain more than one sub, it’s what they call ‘redundancy’!
Captain: I know about redundancy, Mr Hunter.
Hunter: All I’m saying…
Hunter: [follows Ramsey, lowers his voice] All I’m saying Captain, is that we have backup. Now it’s our duty, *not* to launch until we can confirm.
Captain: You’re presuming we have other submarines out there, ready to launch. Well as Captain, I must assume our submarines could’ve been taken out by other Akulas. We can play these games all night Mr Hunter but uh, I don’t have the luxury of your presumptions.
Hunter: Sir…
Captain: Mr Hunter, we have rules that are not open to interpretation, personal intuition, gut feelings, hairs on the back of your neck, little devils or angels sitting on your shoulder. We’re all very well aware of what our orders are and what those orders mean. They come down from our Commander in Chief. They contain no ambiguity.
Hunter: Captain…
Captain: Mr Hunter. I’ve made a decision. I’m Captain of this boat. NOW SHUT THE _ UP!

Movie: Crimson Tide:

Captain: Rickover gave me my command, a checklist, a target, and a button to push. All I had to know was how to push it, and they’d tell me when. They seem to want you to know why.
Hunter: I would hope they’d want us all to know why, sir.

Movie: Crimson Tide

Hunter: Captain, here’s the results from the missile drill.
Captain: Is this the best they can do?
Hunter: No sir. But, that’s what they did.
Captain: I want this down in five minutes. Train on it.
Hunter: Yes, sir.
Captain: Tell your buddy Weps to do it again, and keep on doing it until he gets it right.
Hunter: Yes, sir.
Captain: It looks like the whole crew needs a kick in the ass.
Hunter: Or a pat on the back, sir. I have witnessed a fight down in crew’s mess, no big deal. It appears that the crew is a bit on edge about all we’re going through. Morale seems a bit low.
Captain: [picks up the intercom] May I have your attention please, crew of the Alabama, Mr. Hunter has brought it to my attention that Morale maybe a bit low. and you might be a bit… On edge. so, I suggest this. Any crew member who thinks that they can’t handle the situation, can leave the ship right now. Gentlemen, we are at DEFCON 3, war is imminent. This the captain. That is all. [hangs up the intercom]
Hunter: Very inspiring, sir.

Movie: Apollo 13

Swigert: Well, what are you saying, Fred?
Haise: Oh, I think you know what I’m saying…
Swigert: Now wait a minute… all I did was stir those tanks…
Haise: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Swigert: Hey, don’t tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right?
Haise: You don’t even know, do you?
Swigert: They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks.
Lovell: Jack, quit kicking yourself in the ass.
Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I’m in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, *I* stir the tanks.
Swigert: Yeah, well, tell *him* that.
Haise: I just asked you what the gauge was reading. AND YOU DON’T KNOW!
Lovell: All right, we’re not doing this, gentlemen. We are *not* going to do this. We’re not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, ’cause we’re just going to end up back here with the same problems…Trying to figure out how to stay alive!

Movie: …And Justice For All

Kirkland: At this point, I would just like to say that what this committee is doing, in theory, is highly commendable. However, in practice, it sucks…

Movie: Hoffa

Hoffa: The thing of it is, a guy’s close to you, you can’t slight him. You can’t slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved. Differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt…A slight…That m_f_er gonna hate you till the day he dies.

Movie: Hoffa

Fitz: I wanna put this together. I wanna be the guy…
Hoffa: I’m sure you do, Fitz. So I’m gonna give you a piece of advice: Don’t ask for something that it’s a burden to you if you get it.

Movie: Jaws

Quint: Brody?! Start that chum line again, will ya?!
Martin: Let Hooper take a turn.
Quint: Hooper drives the boat, chief.

Movie: Open Range

Boss: Sounds like you got it all worked out.
Charley: Yeah, except the part where we don’t get killed.

Movie: The Sopranos

Tony: All due respect, you got no f-in’ idea what it’s like to be Number One. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other f-in’ thing. It’s too much to deal with almost. And in the end you’re completely alone with it all.

Movie: Inglourious Basterds

Sergeant: You know, Lieutenant, you’re getting pretty good at that.
Lieutenant: You know how you get to Carnegie Hall, don’t ya? Practice!

Movie: Inglourious Basterds

Lieutenant: Well, I speak the most Italian, so I’ll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most, so he’ll be your Italian cameraman. Omar speaks third most, so he’ll be Donny’s assistant.
Omar: I don’t speak Italian.
Lieutenant: Like I said, third best. Just keep your mouth shut. In fact, why don’t you start practicing, right now!

Movie: Kill Bill Vol. 1

Elle: I might never have liked you. Point of fact, I despise you. But that doesn’t suggest I don’t respect you.

Movie: Kill Bill Vol. 2

The Bride: You and I have unfinished business.
Bill: Baby, you ain’t kidding.

Movie: Jackie Brown

Ordell: You can’t trust Melanie but you can trust Melanie to be Melanie.

Movie: The Blues Brothers

Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Movie: Top Gun

Viper: [discussing Maverick] Let me ask you something. If you had to go into battle, would you want him with you?
Jester: I don’t know, I just don’t know…

Movie: Top Gun

Viper: Top Gun rules of engagement are written for your safety and for that of your team. They are not flexible, nor am I. Either obey them or you are history. Is that clear?

Movie: Top Gun

Viper: I like that in a fighter pilot. It’s okay to be confident. You have to think you’re King Kong to want to try to land on carriers. Just keep in mind the other component of success…teamwork.

Movie: Top Gun

Title Card: On March 3, 1969 the United States Navy established an elite school for the top one percent of its pilots. Its purpose was to teach the lost art of aerial combat and to insure that the handful of men who graduated were the best fighter pilots in the world. They succeeded. Today, the Navy calls it Fighter Weapons School. The flyers call it: TOP GUN.

Movie: Top Gun

Officer: [in the midst of the MIG battle] Both Catapults are broken, sir.
Stinger: How long will it take?
Officer: It’ll take ten minutes.
Stinger: B_sh_t ten minutes! This thing will be over in two minutes! Get on it!

Movie: Full Metal Jacket

Sergeant: How many counts in that movement you just executed?
Private: Sir, 4 counts, sir!
Sergeant: What’s the idea of looking down in the chamber?
Private: Sir, that is to guarantee that the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir!
Sergeant: What’s your fifth general order?
Private: Sir, the private’s fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir!
Sergeant: What’s this weapon’s name, Private Pyle?
Private: Sir, the private’s weapon’s name is Charlene, sir!
Sergeant: Private Pyle, you are definitely born again hard. Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.
Private: Sir, yes, sir!

Movie: The Towering Inferno

[the firemen are trapped in an elevator shaft]

Chief: We’ll go down by rope. We’re gonna rappel down to 65, get on top of that elevator, use it as an exit.
Fireman: I can’t make it. I’ll fall. I know I’ll fall.
Chief: Ok. Then you better go first. That way when you fall, you won’t take any of us with you.

Movie: The Towering Inferno

Chief: How long before you can get me a complete list of your tenants?
Jernigan: You don’t have to worry about that, we’re moving them out now.
Chief: Not live-in. *Business* tenants.
Jernigan: We thought of that, too. Most of them haven’t moved in yet and those who have aren’t working tonight.
Chief: I want to know *who* they are, not *where* they are.
Jernigan: [perplexed] But what does that have to do with anything, who they are?
Chief: [patiently] Do you have any silk or wool manufacturers? You see, in a fire silk and wool give off cyanide gas. Do you have any sporting goods manufacturers, like table tennis balls? They give off toxic gases. Now, do you want me to go on down the line?
Jernigan: [now understanding] No. One list of tenants coming up.
Chief: Thank you.

Movie: The Towering Inferno

Simmons: I don’t like the way you talked to me.
Duncan: Are you drunk?
Simmons: Not yet.
Duncan: Well then, get out of my way!
Simmons: You didn’t talk like this two years ago, did you? Running over budget and out of money? Did you ask me then how I could shave two million from our electrical costs?
Duncan: [making his way to the elevators] Shut up and help me with these people!
Simmons: And let me ask you something else, my dear father-in-law! Am I the only subcontractor you encouraged to cut corners?
Duncan: [addressing people in the crowd] Excuse me.
Simmons: Where did you save the other $4-million in Doug’s original budget?
[Duncan reaches the front of the crowd & pushes past Simmons]
Duncan: [addressing the crowd at the elevators] Ladies & Gentlemen, I’m sorry. You’ll have to move back into the promenade room, and we’ll be taking you down by the scenic elevator. Now these express elevators can be activated by fire, and with the probability of short circuits, the cars might stop on the floor where the fire is. So please, we’ll use the scenic elevator. It’s over here.

Movie: There’s Something About Mary

Ted: I’m out of here. I’ve got to get up at six a.m. to move my boss’s brother into his apartment.
Dom: What? On your day off? Do you even know the guy?
Ted: Never met him.
Next Morning A profusely sweating Ted has a DRESSER ON HIS BACK and EEKS his way toward the front door as his BOSS’S DISABLED BROTHER catches up to him IN A WHEELCHAIR.
Boss’s bro: Hey, sh_t-for-brains, be careful not to scratch that thing, huh?
Ted: What?
Boss’s bro: You heard me. You already put a f_ing nick in my piano.
Ted: I’ll try to be more careful.
Boss’s bro: S’matter with you? You look like you’re fading.
Ted: The thing’s kind of heavy.
Boss’s bro: Heavy? Heavy?! What I wouldn’t give to know what heavy feels like, you insensitive pr_k.
Ted: No, I just meant…
Boss’s bro: Yeah yeah. I’m going to the corner to get a cup of coffee.

Movie: Tora! Tora! Tora!

General: We’re going on alert.
Aide: Again? But the men are confused. So many alerts.
General: Damn it, unconfuse them.
Aide: Yes, sir!

Movie: Tora! Tora! Tora!

Private: Sir, this is Private Elliot at Opana Point. There’s a large formation of planes coming in from the north – 140 miles, 3 degrees east.
Lieutenant: Yeah? Well … Don’t worry about it. [hangs up]

Movie: The General’s Daughter

Sunhill: Why was she murdered?
Brenner: Well, possible motives for murder are profit, revenge, jealousy, to conceal a crime, to avoid humiliation & disgrace, or plain old homicidal mania. Right there in the manual.

Movie: Apocalypse Now

Willard: Hey soldier, do you know who’s in command here?
Soldier: Ain’t you?

Movie: Run Silent, Run Deep

[Submarine Commander Richardson has been relentlessly drilling his crew in special attack training, amid the crew’s incessant grumblings and discontent. But when the weary crew is put to the test in a tough battle, they achieve an almost impossible victory. Pleased, but taking nothing for granted, Commander Richardson makes this announcement:]

Commander: Now hear this.Captain speaking….You just gave “the enemy” the deep six with a bow shot in 32 seconds. This boat is ready for anything. Let’s keep it that way! …Drills?…no more than usual tomorrow…

[In a sudden change of attitude, a crew member comments:]

Submariner: Boy, that skipper! …He knocks ‘em down!

TV Show: The A-Team

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

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